The inspiration for my documentary
I am an 18 year old girl I have 3 sisters a Mum and a Dad now that's obvious, people see me as your average teenager bubbly, caring and maybe a little careless at times. But let’s go way back. This is my story. (Parts will be missed out for personal reasons)
I was born the 1st of November 1993, and clearly I am not going to remember life as a child, however I remember life from when I was as young as 7. At 7 or 8 years old my parents broke up, for reasons I cannot talk about, before I knew it myself my elder sister and my two little sisters were taken away from my dad and lived with my mum and told we were never allowed to see him again. (For future reference my elder sister Helen has a different farther to me) My mum moved us from what was once home to a new house, we were picked up from school one day and was told 'this is your new house', as if that was not enough for me a woman was also living with us, confused and young you just adjust. So this woman was my mums girlfriend, she was a nice woman we seen her parents as our grandparents; because my mum doesn't talk to hers and obviously I'm not going to see my dads. Me and my older sister didn't get on, if she did wrong I'd get in trouble and if I said it was her she'd then hit me, she didn't really think life was good, she moved out at the age of 14 (I was 10) she then lived with my mums side of the family but this is my story not hers, that is for another time.
Life was good; I guess I made friends with the kids in the street. Well around 4/5 (age 15) years later my mum broke up with her girlfriend and I had the responsibility of kicking her out, not because my mum couldn't but because I was the one who knew how to, I also didn't want to move out of Coventry as I had a boyfriend who was my support through the arguments and fights. Her girlfriend moved out and life was back on track... As you get older the responsibilities get greater; general house chores, washing-up, cleaning the animals, cooking dinners... My mum started to out often, she became tired during the week days after work, I took the role of looking after my younger sisters not because I had to but because I wanted to, the reason she was going out was because she then found another girlfriend...
So I guess I was looking after my sisters, the animals and the house kind of like the foundations of the family doing as much as I could from year 9 onwards, so juggling home life and school life was okay, then it was GCSEs too. Life was still good; in my eyes... I was allowed to have sleep overs and go out. But in return I was to look after my sisters so she could go out (the not so good life).
It wasn't until I was just turning 16 until I asked to see my dad, I was nervous as hell but surprisingly my mum wasn't so bothered. Seeing dad was weird and we went bowling it was good fun, and then after a few visits mum allowed me to take my sisters to see him.
I wasn't so shocked to find out dad had married but was going through a divorce when I first started to meet him, that was what hurt me the most, knowing my own dad had a wedding and I wasn't there to watch him on potentially the happiest day of his life. Well that's his story so moving on...
Life was finally looking good I was then re-introduced to my dad’s side of the family, and that summer Dad and my Auntie Rose took us to the seaside. Going to see dad was my escape from home, I had little responsibilities but he misjudged me and probably to this day doesn't understand my way of thinking. That's because I would tell my sisters off for doing something wrong; like having silly arguments, keeping in mind that is what I done at home. I had to start reminding myself I am their sister not there mother.
(Fast forward a little- August 2010, just to keep you updated my mum is still with her girlfriend and I am still with my boyfriend from 2008 wow 2 years, such a long time)
Moving swiftly on, my mum then broke up with her girlfriend and this is when life started slipping downhill, I still had the roles of before but they started to become a problem... As if school wasn't enough I was also trying to keep my own relationship with my boyfriend a float, I was soon looking after him and running around for him, throughout the years we were on and off. I never wanted to lose him even if he did treat me like rubbish. I come to the conclusion that I only took so much from him because his mum was lovely and they were there for me throughout everything. This isn't a story of my relationship but of my family so carrying on.
I was late home one night, the next morning my mum had started to shout at me, yes I was late, by about 2 minutes, but that doesn't matter any reason to blame something on me because I screwed up. I had so much anger, disappointment, frustration built up due to a bad couple of weeks at home. That led to me answering back and eventually voicing out, I'm not going to go into the argument partially because I don't remember, and partially because I don't want to, but the words I can vividly remember saying are "Mum I know you're tired from work, I'm tired from school but you have three children waiting at home for you and all you do is go to your room or go straight back out, I understand you pay the bills but you do nothing as a mother, I cook, I clean I love you but I cannot raise your children"
I walked out. I moved into my dad’s and his new girlfriend had not long moved in too.
Life was really looking up, I finished my GCSEs of which I passed all grade A-C and I was just starting my A-levels.
(Fast forward to present/ One year later)
So I'm coming to the end I broke up with my boyfriend October 2011 but it was for the best, I am finishing my last year in Sixth form and looking at good grades, I have decided not to go to uni and carry on with presenting at the local radio station in which I should be looking to getting an apprenticeship with. If that doesn't happen then I am continuously looking for a job or an apprenticeship on the internet. I'm pretty sure it will though. I have a father that may not entirely understand me and his girlfriend may not be my mum, however I know they both love me very much and life is stable which is all I ever wanted it to be, and on the brighter side I have also got an lovely boyfriend and I know they say young love doesn't last, but I'm ready to prove them wrong. Just as I am continuing to prove that a broken family is not a bad place to raise a child, it is just not the best.
Something that helped me through those rough patches was knowing that there was always someone worse off than me. So be great-full for what you have, be yourself and not what others want you to be, society knows nothing, never judge someone on their appearance, there is no such thing as perfect and most importantly remember to smile, it might just make someone’s day.
